Sure, Friday when I was told the words "Unfortunately, I'm not seeing a heartbeat" comes in as a close second. But, today? Today was the worst. Even though I knew our baby had already went to heaven and was no longer living inside of me, today was like the FINAL goodbye. What really tore me apart was that they were going to scrape my BABY (or "product of conception" as the nurse said) out and just throw him/her away. I guess there was no alternative, but it just really hit me hard. That was my baby. A part of my husband and I. My daughter's brother/sister. The baby we waited 7 months for. This is hard.
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I am so sorry, friend. I can only imagine how very difficult today was for you and all the emotions you've been experiencing. I have a dear friend who went through this and I know there are no words..I am just so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
ReplyDeleteI'll be continuing to pray for you and your family, that God covers you with His abiding peace during this time.
Thank you so much Brittney. You are such a kind friend! I appreciate the prayers so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to go through that. No one should ever have to loose a baby! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am thinking of you and sending good vibes your way! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words!
DeleteVanessa I'm so sorry. I believe you when you say it was the worst day. As you know, I suffered 3 miscarriages, the second followed by a D&C. Horrible. Big hugs friend.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine going through 3 :( Thanks for the hugs, and hugs back to you!
DeleteWhile our loses are different, reading this I know so much of what you felt. The ultrasound revealing there is no heartbeat is one of the most gut wrenching feelings you will ever feel, reading this I instantly had a flashback. Take all the time you need to be sad and grieve, and as you know God has a plan. We may never understand why we have to deal with painful things such as loss, but it is all out of our control. Your little angel is up there with mine! These days are hard, but you will be feel happiness again, I know you will be blessed with your rainbow just as I was, it's all about having faith!!
ReplyDelete"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope..."
What I'm feeling is I'm sure the tiniest tiniest fraction of what you felt. I've been amazed by your strength and faith. I truly admire you!
DeleteWhile I want to keep asking "why?", I just keep reminding myself that this is part of God's plan for my life. He knows what is best and will bless me in His perfect timing.
Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot to me.
Your right it just downright sucks! Praying that you will start to feel better and just know that your baby will be looking down on yall from heaven and you will see them again. That always helped me. It's not Goodbye, it's just see you later!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouraging words! It is definitely comforting knowing our baby is in Heaven and we will be together again one day.
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